i have good news for myself.
my dreams with dongbangshinki are back and alive! :DD

and soo... it happened last night.
the whole situation was so freaking surreal but it was damn vivid.
i was lying on my bed - foetus pose, with yunho looking right into my eyes.
he was lying down as well.
the whole room was dark yet bright with the moonlight shining in from the windows.

i just stared back at him. and subsequently, my heart started racing, so much so i could hear the beats more distinctively than what happened next.
yunho asked me a question, "are you ready for this?"
i was trying to say something, but i was trembling too much to be making any sense out of myself.

i wasnt scared at that point. it was like... trembling with excitement and anticipation.
the typical "caught in the moment" of couples, i guess.
the time when u really just shut out from the rest of the world. only the 2 of us hold the conversation.

i felt heat radiating from his body. and it felt so warm and cozy.
seeing that i wasnt able to reply, but obviously giving consent, he moved nearer and hovered above.

anyone would definitely know how this would end up, but my dream stopped there.
and im glad it did. ((((:
but when i woke up, i could still remember that fast beating of my heart. xDD

arghh. shouldnt have gone to the Sanrioland last year!
this year would be SOO much greater cos Jaechun's Colour, Melody and Harmony is going to be the theme song for Hello Kitty's anniversary! goshgosh.

gheiness? Y/Y?
HAHAHA. i cant wait to see how it all goes after their epic rise in popularity after the tsc tokyo dome promotions. (((:
security guards guarding the pillars with the posters, like srsly?!
lol at the fact that avex chose to put the posters at the same venue for tsc tokyo dome promotions after much chaos was caused duing tsc album release promotions earlier in the year.
i swear avex is super good at marketing.
what cd version. cd+dvd version, 2cd+2dvd versio, bigeast version, tokyo dome version.
and yeah. i think all their NEWLY ADDED concert venues for the arena tours are like planned WAAAY beforehand and just released later to get the media-attention. cos afterall, tohoshinki is still young in japan. nobody would expect them to have "added venues", but it has been planned all along and they know that fangirls/ajummahs/obasans will definitely attend the concert.

but its good to see them grow so much :DD
from SUPER SUPER SMALL concert halls that are appropriate for school concerts, to the BUDOKAN, then SAITAMA ARENA, and now TOKYO DOME. what else do they have left?

*coughs*
okayy, now that CTs are over, im having a lot of sleep at home. FINALLY.
and so, i have lots of dreams to talk about! :DDD

i first dreamt about wandering around the streets of japan with claire!
buying food and walking around i think. yupyup. i wanted to sms claire about it but shldnt distract her from her exams.
idk why japan. but i vaguely remember everything happening in japan.
plus, it was only a brief "flashback". i didnt get to do much in the dream.

uhm, next i dreamt about walking around some park-like place overseas which was crowded.
it looked like it was outside a nightclub, with the no. of ppl around there late at night.
not to mention the spot lights along the streets i was walking along with my friends. no neon lights though.
friends. who? i can't be too sure actually. sure there were friends of both genders, but that's about all that i can recall.

and this dream. it is the blurriest dream that i've ever had.
Kim Raewon is a main person in the dream. okay, i think it started off with me thinking if the guy on tv is KimRaewon or RyuShiwon.
and i finally knew who was actually on the screen - KimRaewon.
and then, somehow KimRaewon was beside me. uhm, as a friendly oppa or lover oppa, im not really sure.
considering the big age gap of 10years, it is unlikely that we had a romantic relationship in my dreams.
but then again, i remember thinking to myself in the dream that he is such a great person. very caring.
HAHA. smouldering eyes. i dont know if he hugged me, but urh.i think i felt convinced that i have feelings for this guy. (((:

lol. and the last, which is extremely funny. imagining fangirling in your dream.
srsly in this dream, i saw nothing, but entering tags into a livejournal entry.
namely, "shinee, onew" hahah. i have no idea what i typed in the entry. but yeah, there you go.
fangirling FTW.




lalalala. thailand should stop getting all the love from kpop artists?
first it was dongbang, and then in the next week they actually have the whole of 2pm over there!
lucky people man! but, dont these artists get afraid of the H1N1 disease?
i mean, look at miroticon in BKK, 2 ppl were tested H1N1 positive after the concert. how gorgeous.

yupyup. and TOHO at Tokyo Dome is like love.
i'm so proud of these guys, and i felt that the accoustics were really good!
plus, the sea of red then the sea of blue at the concert was breathtaking. and everything was so orderly!
im sure the guys had funn. and how i wished i was there. T__T

ohshit. ohshit. common tests are tomorrow.
and i feel fucking unprepared. cos im constantly behind schedule.
and i feel like i need to take a break from this.
it eats up my brain. you know.
similar to mindless fucking, this is like mindless studying.
just studying for the sake of studying, so that u know that u have studied.
tsks. i feel sorry for myself.
more emriching stuff please!

and i ate a whole lot of junk food today.
breakfast: oreo cheese cake + iced green tea
lunch: homemade fried rice with vegetable + iced green tea
dinner: rice with vegetables and chicken curry + iced green tea
dessert: one kiwi and three strawberries
after dessert: a bowl of potato chips that my mum gave me + iced green tea + fresh milk
:DDDDD

i love green tea and milk!!! <333
and my intake of those 2 above is waaaaaay more than my water intake.
green tea = water for me. which is bad for my body.
too much caffeine and minerals.

lalalalalalalalalala.
miroticon!!!!! i love the name goes.
i kinda miss fangirling over dbsk, but there hasnt been much news about them,,,,
while 2pm's like everywhere.
hah. i need to see them again. HAHHA.
i cant believe saw jiayi and i eye-to-eye and he smiled. and we smiled back.
and yeahh. i didnt even like him at that time. cos of his hair.
he looks much better now, and is only 1year older than us. (((:

TAECYEON IS THE BEST. NOT TAEYEON.

OH HELLO.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR.
WHY CANT U JUST BE A FUCKING MORE AUTOMATIC AND READ PPL'S EXPRESSIONS AND GESTURES.
WHATTHEFUCK.
DAMMIT.

PRZ TO BE TALKING TO THE HAND.
FUCK THIS SHIT.

rahhh.
i think mnet scandal has amazing wonders.

im totally smitten with taecyeon now.
its like falling in love all over again.

as a person, he has such an amazing personality.
not only is he humorous, he is responsible and thoughtful.
and looking at how he was treating his "girlfriend", i was jealous, yet happy for them at the same time.
(okayy, i have no idea what i should type here. it seems too hard to put those feelings into words)

uhm, it was just a really cozy feeling that i got from them.
totally no qualms or hesitation about holding each others hands for the first time.
and taecyeon being all initiative as well, lying on her when he was sleeping.
everything was soo sweet.

it was very different from nichkhun.
not that any one of them was better, the main point is that is is different.
each of them has their own way of carrying out their relationship.

smitten.smitten.smitten.
i felt so troubled for taecyeon and the girl at the end.
it was really head aching. u just feel like tearing your head apart.
yah, and i cried when they sent each other those post-relationship messages.
stuff about, "it was really nice being with you and i wish that this could last forever. u brought me happiness, and i cant be any more grateful.. i wish that you would continue to be happy."
i'm happy it didnt end the way like it did for nichkhun (without any last messages)
at least, they had the opportunity to reflect about their relationship, and have a good ending. :DD





and bad news yesterday.
onew fainted!!! like right after MUBANK.
and he even sprained his ankle when he slipped during the performance.
it fainted due to trauma from seeing the stage lights topple on him.
when i read the news yesterday, i was feeling a little worried, but not too worried and i kinda brushed it aside.
but when i saw the fancam today, i was totally stunned. @_@

at first when everybody was trying to get off the stage, he was limping towards donghae for some support.
and i felt bad already. it was a really bad limp, i thought.
it wasnt even those type of twists that you could get away by walking a lil faster and ignoring the pain.
it was as if the ankle was fixated there.
then yah, everybody was trying to get into backstage.and the freaking lights half toppled.
'cos thankgod, shiwon was there to hold the lights back in time.
but by then, i owe to the lack of sleep and all, onew had already fainted and was in the arms of his hyung-deul.
he really looked like a piece of nothing that had to be held up.
next thing i knew, was that manager-hyung carried/piggybacked him to the other side of the stage out of the studio.
that was when i really broke down.
it was super worrying seeing our leader-sshi being unconscious and carried away.
he looked so vulnerable that i wanted to die.
it was such an unbearable sight.
i can almost understand how MJ fans felt on friday. ;_;
seeing onew like that.. my heart almost stopped.
i cant imagine..........


FORTUNATELY, ONEW IS WELL AND PERFORMING ON STAGE AGAIN. :DDDD
ONEW SANGTAE, IT ISNT FUNNY ANYMORE. PLS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

HAHA.  i feel good after dancing "again and again" and "mirotic" twice each!
yupyup.
its not like i could dance everything in the dance, but the act of dancing and getting high itself makes me a happier person!
yay! :DDD


tsks. i need to go back to studying now.
i think i need a full A4 size photo of like Yunho in his school uniform or something.
i need to be motivated by this person who scored 80% in his school exams, even when he is a celebrity.
OH, CHANGMIN AND KYUHYUN TOO. ((((((:     *beams*
hahah, snarky changmin who's freaking studious and smart.
while kyuhyun is like Maths Olympiad Grand Winner?!
kudos to the both of them.


STUDYSTUDYSTUDY.

this is totally random.
but i was drinking my green tea at the sink and was thinking how i would be asking my questions tmr.
like uhm, how should i phrase my questions so that i would not sound too rude, or well, too awkward...

and YEAH. think think think.
i started with " I would like to ask" and it immediately continued with
"who you're still looking for. I'm the one."

ROFL.
i was like, "what freaking lyrics are these??! why is it appearing so randomly?!"
and to mention, i had no idea where the lyrics came from.
so i went to google it. "ask who you're looking for i'm the one"
and it came up with idk what stuff. and i typed in "ask who you're looking for i'm the one dbsk"

TADAA.
indeed it was dbsk. The lyrics belonged to Hug (International Version)
im amazed at myself. tsks.
so much for being obssessed. ^^

[Max]
How can I ask who you're still looking for, I'm the one
Since love seems to make me blind
I try to find all day long
But I cannot hold

*laughs at self*

i woke up at 8am and then proceeded to my study room and fiddled with the computer for a little while.
after that, i decided to start revising physics and wrote new notes! (((:
and i was thinking, "let's leave breakfast for a later time"
cos i didnt want to be distracted by food too early and not get work done. HAHAH.

and yah. i succeeded. but i forgot the whole thing about breakfast.
i just heard my stomach growling and looked at the time. 12.37pm
OKAY, TIME TO COOK RICE FOR LUNCH. lol.
that's when i realised i forgot the whole thg abt breakfast.
rofl. how could i?!


2pm fandom's eating me up.
TAECYEON. TAECYEON. TAECYEON.
fancams of them make me excited! and i squeal in front of my computer! :DDD
esp the Lotte Department Store Performance! CHANSUNG AND TAECYEON! <3333
2pm please come to singapore again! When my A levels are over!~~


eee. why is taecyeon's name so hard to type with the C.

HAHAHA.
my mum requested for me to download the songs from Tazza just now.
so yup, now my mum's phone has got Yesung's voice in it!!!

OHGODYES.
and she can recognise the song from the start.
YEAH BB. GO YESUNG! GO YESUNG!


and yay. youtube finally loaded my recording! (((((((((:

oh taec oh taec, why are you so adorable?

i was watching 2pm's individual members interview yesterday, called "It's Time 2pm"
which is like a daily segment of Mnet Wide News.
and im loving it thoroughly! <333

plus taec being so flaily was so adorable!
and he was asked about his "giddy" personality.
well, imo, giddy = flaily. and he said he got it from his mum!
the way he described his mum was super hilarious!
stuff like, "HAHAHA. XDD EVERYBODY COME HERE NOW." ^^
taec has an extraordinary family! lol.

and then he has this really nice smile sometimes which gives him this really innocent look!
and rofl, then he comes up with the "beast" look cos he's the emotional rapper in the group. wonderful.
and then he shoots charisma at the camera! rahh! and smiles again!
lol. taec is so smiley!
HAHA. and then he goes all "ohohoho" when the interviewer says that he likes glamorous girls, while covering his mouth.
rofl

and oops. taec is like younger than the magnae-min?!
tsks. taec's still shorter than min though. taec is 185cm, while min is 186cm.
lol. 1cm difference.
taec's birthday is on 27th december! must remember!

oh yesss.
finally recorded my own version of 2pm's "I Hate You"
can't believe that i did it!
with all the ad-libs and everything.
well, i didnt add ALL  the ad-lubs... cos they were simply too difficul t for me.
junho's adlibs are fine cos they have a tune.
but then jaebeom's adlib is super RnB!
i hate to listen for more than 10times before catching the tune.
then spending dunno how much more time learning how to sing it without the song playing.

and then TAEC'S RAP.
lol. i dont want to know how i did for that.
i bet its like super fuzzy.
granted u can still hear the words, but maybe if a korean was to listen, he wouldnt understand.
and taec's rap is darn catchy!! lololol.

okayy. now im considering whether i should post my song on yt! or  2_o_clock !!!! :DDD
lulz. i have to listen it myself for more times first though.

yay. singing and recording in the morning is good!
for guys' songs only though. guys range are just perfect for my morning voice.
do i even have it now?? heh.

another post for the day!
but yay. MUST POST MUST POST.

i have lots of dreams to tell, but i think ive forgotten most of them already...

maybe i should start off with something else first?
anyway, i think im tired, or at least something like that.
i was sleeping on friday night/sat morning.
after waking myself up in the middle of the night to do some work before going back to sleep.
yupyupy.
so it wasnt very long from when i just fell asleep. maybe half an hour or so?
i was curled up and lying on my right arm.
then, i felt this really deep and blunt touch against my back.
it was as if someone came to sit at the side of my bed.
i wanted to ignore it at first, but the feeling just got heavier and heavier against my back.
and there was this gradual piercing sound growing through my head.
i was startled, but not panicking and tried to make some noise.
and shit, no sound came out. by then my eyes were already open, and i couldnt move my body.
so i laid down for a little longer before trying my best to move, again.
and alas, i was able to jerk my head to my left.
the heavy feeling was no longer against my back and there was no more piercing sound.
i was breathing heavily then. i looked around and everything was normal as ever.
it took me a little while for me to fall into a deep sleep again for i wasnt too sure about letting my body take control over me.
i think that's what people normally call 鬼压身?

"所谓「鬼压身」，绝对不是鬼压床，更不是鬼缠身，事实上是罹患了睡眠障碍的疾病。「鬼压身」的现象，在睡眠神经医学上是属于一种睡眠瘫痪（麻痹（sleep paralysis）的症状，患者在睡眠当时，呈现半醒半睡的情境，脑波是清醒的波幅，有些人还会并有影像的幻觉，但全身肌肉张力降至最低，类似「瘫痪」状态，全身动弹不得，彷佛被罩上金钟罩般，也就是一般人所谓的「鬼压身」的现象。

我们的睡眠周期依序是由入睡期、浅睡期、熟睡期、深睡期，最后进入「快速动眼期」（做梦期）。睡眠瘫痪主要是提早出现快速动眼期的关系，导致在快速动眼期的阶段协调不一致。事实上快速动眼期的阶段，身体本质上是呈现出休息状态，而且和大脑的连结信号也暂时中断，这是一种防御措施，这样人体就不会将梦境实现在真实的生活里，例如梦见打人时，就不会真的付诸行动而对枕边人拳打脚踢。

当睡眠神经瘫痪时，大脑却从睡眠休息中复苏过来，来不及和身体重新连结，使人发生半睡半醒状态，梦境与实现互相交错，导致身体与大脑发生不协调情况。此时全身肌肉张力最低，所以会造成自己想要起来，却起不来；想用力，却使不出力的状况，这是「鬼压身」最常有的状况。

一般而言，压力过大、太过焦虑、紧张、极度疲累、失眠、睡眠不足，或有时差问题的情况下，睡眠会提早进入快速动眼期（做梦期），而发生「鬼压身」－睡眠瘫痪的情况。"

lol, definitely. i have seen/'read about this from the tv before. so i wasnt really worried.
just kept telling myself to not sleep for too little hours.
yupyup.

so all is good now.
although now i still fall into extremely light sleeps. like watching tv half way and then suddenly a dream appears.
just right in front of your eyes, instead of what u were watching on tv.
but at the same time, u can still hear what is being played o nthe tv.
it's incredible isn't it? HAHAH.



okay dreams.
i had a dream with chiansiang asking me about something/object.
wensong was there too. lol. no idea what happened.
it occured when i was half asleep and awake, the light sleep thgy.
i could still hear the tv, so i woke up immediately.

uhm. another one.
i was hugging jaebeom! i think i saw too much of his pictures before going back to sleep on saturday morning
so yeah. and i rmb, when i was hugging him, i was worried if my fatness would drown him or what.
and it led to some "bad" things after that. but its jaebeom afterall, i dont mind.
taec would be a better choice though.

next. i remember i was outside a block of shophouses.
which somehow made out to be that one of the shophouse there is the examination venue for Princeton Uni.
i was apparently helping this person hold her books and one of it had Princeton printed on it.
and i was in the examination venue.
i had a warning, bring anything illegal in and u will be expelled.
but they didnt even mention what could or could not be brought in.
so i played safe and remembered to not bring in any correction fluid,
just pen, pencil, eraser, ruler.
the roon was dark and gloomy, nothing like a conventional examination room.
i was at the last row of the room, facing the blackboard from the right. and door was right smack against my right.
at that juncture, i suddenly pictured ghostly images and lots of bloodshed.
not in i-kiill-you-and-u-die way, but the ghostly and gory way which made me want to puke.
and something abt me dying if i looked at the things that were happening around me.

i have no idea how this is linked to the examination.
but all i thought was, its either i pull through the examination with all the disgusting images and sounds
or i run out of the place now.
another thought.
all the disgusting things that i have thought about would happen to ppl who fail the paper.
dammit. I HAVE TO GET OUT.


and i woke up.
what have i done to myself?

9 out of the 29 songs belong to dbsk!
gorgeous. i see asian songs everywhere. hah.
it was kinda difficult to decipher the songs actually.
had to search for the translations cos i didnt know what the song titles/lyrics mean.

after watching nickhun's episode on Mnet Scandal,
i have a lot of heartfelt emotions for him.
but i have got no idea how i am supposed to phrase them...


Nickhun dated this onscreen girlfriend for a week,
and after that, they had to separate
and decide for themselves if they would like to continue the relationship.
once they had parted, they had exactly half an hr to decide.

it was a whole lot of a heart-wrenching episode for me, actually.
the last day started with khun dedicating to a song to his gf at a cafe at Han River.
he sang and played the piano all by himself.
very sweet lyrics to the song. <3
at that point of time, it was truly touching.
you read into the lyrics, and realise how well it fits.
it was a song saying, "thankyou for accepting me and being my girlfriend."


knowing that they had to part, it was probably the best they could do for each other.


you could distinctively see from khun's eyes that he really wanted to be with her.
the stress amounting when the onscreen girlfriend indicated her interest in wanting to continue
saying "you told me that u want me to find a good man. to me.... i think that person is you"
he was so near, yet so far.
khun was really near the verge of crying, i think.
he was pretty much helpless.
it was either love, or work and teamwork with the 2pm guys.

in the end, he didnt reply. T.T



what would i do if i had to consider the same options?
i think ... i would go straight for love.

wtf. i swear i suck.
i totally missed wishing yoochun happy birthday, according to korean timing.
i hsould have like done it 5mins earlier, instead of like 1.5hrs later...


grrr. lots of geog studying to dooooooo


박유천!생일축하해!

eesh, my love for chun jung myung is back!
after very recent events in school. rofl.

ohwells. started watching his old drama that was first aired in 2006;
approximately about the time when the other drama "What's up Fox?" was aired.
uhm, i guess?
rahh. he still looks gorgeous to me, with the pouts and what not..
plus his really innocent and big eyes.
AHAH. i adore the way he scolds/swears!
lol. aiussshi~

lallalala~ he's 29 this year, and i would say he looks baby-faced for his age.
i dont even know if he's released from the army already.
i only remember seeing him getting enlisted into the army and nothing else!

despite him looking hot and cute at the same time,
he really has to take away his moustache!
i cant stand it really. lol. it makes him look older like by tonnes tonnes of years!

really hope that he has a new movie or drama coming up soon! ((((:

shit. im getting all hyped up for the Dance! Subaru movie...!!
must finish work first! damn. i want to watch today!
it's the freaking opening! and i get to see tohoshinki on the big screen for, lol, 10seconds!

HAHAHA.
i must be crazy!
not as bad as those taiwanese fans that book down the whole movie hall for the show.
fraking amazing and intense.

ohwell. i must finish my gp essay plan first.
by then i can write out more easily.

RAHRAHRAHRAHRAHRAH.

hmmm
on the aarinfantasy forums yesterday, i came across this thread about this guy named Trap-kun.
he's a bishie. so that's why the thread was started.
the very first information i got of him was that he resides (resided) in Sydney, Australia and was given birth to there.
He has Vietnamnese blood, making him an Australian-born-Vietnamnese. Cool.
Then i read further, found out that he is gay and does drugs.
Cocaine. and lots of other crazy stuff.

Proceeded to this page which was basically information about Trap-kun and who he is.
but input is from netizens, so i was basically reading for the fun of it.
What was there?
- realised that he is a bi
- likes to prey on young boys (uhm have sex with)
- enjoys clubbing at this one particular gay bar
- loves to take selca (doing relatively private stuff)
- likes chatting online
- supposedly died in 2007 due to drug overdose (who knows?)

uhm yeah. i looked at 6 full pages of his photos.
really nice-looking guy i would have to say. BISHIE.
saw pictures of him fervently kissing another guy.
he has a really soft built and very fair skin (almost as white as jae's)
and very pretty hair, just like those jap guys that i saw, well, in japan.
delicious-looking. if u want it the crude way. DELECTABLE.

click.click.click.
and i freaking saw a photo of his bare stomach.
with very obvious *** of his own on it.
scared the life out of me. cos it was right smack in my face.
decided to be a little smarter and looked at the pictures as thumbnails.
the next whole page was full of pics of him feeling himself up.
hot. very japanese gv. but just plain awkward.

last page.
his glorious manhood in full view.
ohwells. im just glad no one was at home when i saw them.

but i got reminded of my hikaru!!
miss him so much after he got out of the whole gv scene.
nothing beats hikaru, really. <333

shared those stuff with claire, and warned her off the certain pages and pictures.
not sure if she has seen those...




casually went to look for content gp lecture lecturer's facebook account out of boredom and braindeadness.
cos i was telling claire how wonderful and charismatic was the way he speaks.
and how he looks like chun jung myung without the buzz cut.
which then links to micky yoocheon. cos chun jung myung reminds me of yoocheon when he pouts.
and coincidentally, valerie thinks that the lecturer looks like yoocheon!
GREASY PIECE OF THING.
but oh-so-intelligent.
saw his facebook photo.. and realised he actually quite looks like TABLO.
it was like fandom spammage.
ohyeahhh.

and my day kinda ended yesterday.
and woke up this morning dreaming about haocheng. lol.
cos he came back from america and im missing today's choir prac when he's gg to visit.
grrrrrr.